When God first gave me the inspiration for this portion of my blog (about a year ago), I was excited. However, as I pondered it, He kept pressing into me that this ‘blog’ was going to encompass more than I originally planned. Something deeper. I didn’t understand what He meant until I started a new phase of journaling this past summer. As it evolved, I thought I was documenting content that would, at some point, become a published book. But…
As time passed, He began to show me that rather than being used for a book, my journaling would shape the content of this blog. I struggled with that. I couldn’t imagine sharing this level of vulnerability while I was going through my healing. I wanted to wait until this phase was wayyyy back in my rearview mirror. You know how it is.
It’s easier to share something once you are PAST it. I planned to be healthy, happy, healed, and whole before I opened up and shared my struggles. After all, people can’t judge you if you are an example of what healing can do. A testament. Inspiration. Instead, they can celebrate you. #helpmeHolyGhost
Seriously…that’s how I felt. I’d much rather be celebrated than judged. But, trying to walk in obedience, a few months ago I finally published my first blog. I wrote a nice formal piece about trauma. Well informed. Researched. Showing myself as a good credible source of information—an authority you can trust. LMBO
But something didn’t feel right. It felt generic. Stuffy. Didn’t resonate with me the way I wanted it to. So I stopped.
About a month later, God put it in my heart to start sharing a daily blog. It was free-flowing thoughts from my heart. It felt really good to share…kind of cathartic. But then people started texting me to “check” on me. To make sure I was okay. Telling me they see me.
I was like… Wait, what? Oh. Uh-Uh. I don’t need anybody reading my intimate thoughts and assuming I have issues. No ma’am. After all, I’m a life coach, success coach, and transformation coach. I help people with their mindset, strategy, and all that. Who in the world will hire me if people think I have issues??
So I stopped. Again.
Just disobedient. Worried about what people would think about me. Whether or not people would try to invalidate me. Disqualify me. But again, God reminded me that that was not the assignment. And so…I surrendered. If I’m to truly walk in my assignment, it’s time I started getting REAL. Not fake real. But REAL-REAL. Because the truth is…
Most of us are dynamic, multi-layered, volatile, fragile beings. We are full of inner conflicts, dualities, contradictions, ambiguities, paradoxes, and complexities. That’s the human experience. That’s the spiritual experience. Married into one. But we hide. We hide the unacceptable parts of us. The parts of us that we wouldn’t want anyone to see. To judge. We parade around talking about transparency, authenticity, and sincerity. Yet most of us, if we are honest, are way more complex than the representative that we publicly send forth every day.
In fact, that’s why I have struggled with social media. It’s positioned for us to show the picture-perfect, admirable, exciting, inspiring parts of our lives. The glitz. The glam. All in the quest for likes or other nods of approval.
And I’m challenged with that. I don’t always feel like that. I don’t always feel like shouting and screaming louder than everyone else for attention. Pick me! Like me! I don’t want to have to show up how “they” say we must. And do what “they” say we must do. It all feels so forced…because it is. The perfect pic. The best caption. Oh… and now you can hide the number of likes on a picture if you don’t get enough of them. But then if you hide them, they’ll know you don’t get a lot of likes. #catch22 Lmbo. The struggle.
- I’m tired of the status quo.
- I’m tired of seeing women (and also being one) who are fighting an unconscious (subconscious) battle for divine freedom.
- I’m tired of us being in a bondage that we aren’t even aware of.
“You’ll never know how bound you are until you are set free.”author unknown
I am confident, capable, and captivating. I am brilliant, beautiful, and smart. But I am also volatile, fragile, and inconsistent. Two opposing forces. Within one being. And I choose to honor my soul’s journey back home. A journey filled with the willingness to heal, grow and evolve. A journey that allows me to fully embody who I am at my core. A journey that honors my voice above the noise of society. In a way that allows me to truly soak in the beauty of life—right where I am today. With grace, ease, and flow.
I am complex. And perhaps…you are too. So allow me to introduce you to the part of this blog called The Healing Letters: An Exposé of The Secret Life. Welcome to my journey to soulful alignment and divine freedom.
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My mission is to help women overcome so that they can become. We possess the power to overcome anything that stands in the way of us living our best, most bold, most intentional life and becoming everything that we’ve ever desired for our lives. That comes with doing some work, but the work is where the magic happens. You have to show up, do the work and allow the magic to happen.
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Until next time, I leave you with light, love, and high vibrations! Toodles. Talk soon.